


Does He Know?

by Angel_Tortured



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Black Paladin Keith (Voltron), Canon Universe, Dubious Consent, Escort Lance, First Kiss, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mutual Pining, Red Paladin Lance (Voltron), Secret Relationship, Sexual Frustration, Suicidal Thoughts, based on season 3, leader keith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-01-10 02:24:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12289212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_Tortured/pseuds/Angel_Tortured
Summary: Keith and Lance have their ups and downs, eventually Keith's impulse control aka Lance, becomes more. He wants that, but is it really for the best? What are the coincidences of being the leader and seeking out another paladin as a romantic/sexual interest. Will this affect the team?Lance is emotionally unstable, and more and more feels to be breaking apart. Eventually everything hits the fan, he has to make a decision of life or death. Live in pain or end it...





	1. Cries At Night

_ Does he know? _

Has become a common question of recent for Keith, things he wonders his teammate knows.

_ Does he know, how amazing he is? _

_ Does he know, how his smile lights up a room? _

_ Does he know… I hear him crying late at night? _

 

He was the leader now, he’s done the worst job at it. Honestly if he didn’t have Lance, he would’ve ended up killing everyone by the trap Lotor led them into. Why didn’t the Black Lion choose Allura, hell last person he really expected, Lance. Lance was good at at a lot of things… Does he even know how much he means to the team? Keith wants to talk to him, he doesn’t know how. Luckily Allura stepped in as the person with the word thing, Shiro was good at it. No is good at it, they’ll find him.

He remembers hearing Lance’s distress about Blue, Allura tried to tell him more detail to what happened, but it usually led to Blue chose her. He had no idea why Blue would abandon Lance, why anyone would. He was charming, he could be annoying at times… but he really was a good person and did what he could to make everyone feel good. 

The team… no Keith, owes him. If he wasn’t there to rein him in, he would’ve failed. He needs to thank him- anytime he tries Lance avoids it saying it’s nothing, and that Keith was doing a great job. He didn’t really need Lance, he might be just insecure as the leader now he might think Lance is helping. Lance refuses to accept praise, when he hears it he turns red and gets upset. “Why would you play with me? I’m an idiot, I couldn’t of done that. You saved the day, I did nothing.”

It’s lies… Lance does so much, why can’t he see it. He puts on a fake smile, it’s so easy to read through. How damaged Lance is. How can someone like that, be damaged. He’s perfect.

It’s another night, their walls are connected. Lance is crying again, Keith groaned throwing a pillow over his head. What was he supposed to do? He’d just make it worse, and it’s not like Lance knows he’s crying, he’s asleep when he does this. The guilt sunk in his chest, someone should comfort the boy. Why is Lance even crying about, what does he have to cry about? Missing his family? Blue? Does he miss Shiro the way Keith does? He sighed, removing the pillow getting up. He wasn’t going to sleep if Lance kept whimpering on the other side of his wall. Groggy and slightly pissed from exhaustion, he leaned his tiredly against Lance’s door before opening it. He watched as the pile of blankets heavy up and down, being closer hearing his sobs. How to approach this, last time he did Lance nearly tried to kill him. He doesn’t blame him, if someone in the dark woke him up first instinct is to attack.

“So stupid…” Lance whimpered. “Nothing. Worthless. Just kill yourself-” Keith stopped his tracks he never thought of Lance of all people to have thoughts. He knows himself and Shiro have… but Lance? So uncharacteristic. As of late getting to know him more, he’s not that happy-go-lucky. Keith has caught him on his quiet days. Hunk telling him Lance has drops, he’s usually very up but if he comes down he crashes hard. He remembers slightly Shiro saying something, how Lance was so cold when he found him, clean shot. He called him sharpshooter and he became super bouncy again… So alone Lance, is a sad depressed Lance.

He took a deep breath, what should he do? He never had anyone comfort him his whole life, nightmares as a kid from monsters under the bed. How does he even talk to someone in distress. Before he knew it Lance had stopped, swollen blue eyes he could see even in the dim light from the interior design. Looking right at him.

“Keith? What are you doing in my room?”

“You were crying, it was keeping me up. I was going to try and shut you up.” Really Keith, is that how you respond he mentally kicked himself. He was just crying, trying to make him cry more.

“I- I was? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you up.”

“I- I didn’t mean… What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t even know I was crying,” Lance wiped his eyes a raspy laugh.

“Are you sure I wasn’t making… happy noises.”

“No you were whimpering.”

“You can whimper… and be happy about it.” Lance smirked looking at his pillow.

“I don’t- Oh… No, it didn’t sound like that, unless you are-”

“Hard? No. Don’t worry, I was joking. I’m sure I was crying over something stupid, I always do, just the big cry baby about everything.” Keith hated how easily he laughed at himself.

“You said you wanted to kill yourself Lance, let’s not laugh about it.” Lance was frozen, instantly uncomfortable.

“Get out of my room creep,” Lance’s attitude changed, he was good at avoiding. “Getting your jerk on watching me sleep, weirdo climbing into my bedroom. What the hell!”

“Dammit Lance, stop avoiding the subject!” Keith yelled back hovering over Lance, his arms crossed. Lance quickly got up and shoved Keith back. “I said get out!”

“No, I can’t have a member of this team being reckless and costing us another member!”

“Well take a good luck in the mirror you’ll find a reckless teammate. Trying to get us all killed on your suicide mission.”

“I thought you said I was doing good.”

“You were feeling like shit, I wanted to make you feel better.”

“So you take credit, why we’re not dead.”

“No, I still feel like a worthless piece of shit not worthy of breathing another second!” Lance was screaming at him, hot tears down his face again, shoving Keith away from him. Soon the rest of the team will all be there, they all have woken up to there yelling.

“Ha! You admit it you want to kill yourself!” Keith grabbed his arms.

“Shut the fuck up! Let me go!”

“Why do you hate yourself so much? You’re supposed to be the not fucked up one.”

“Sorry to disappoint…”

“What’s going on here?” Allura demanded angrily flicking the lights on. Seeing Keith gripping Lance’s arms, Lance in tears. “Lance why are you crying?”

“I am not!”

“Sure looks like the waterworks,” Pidge said popping their head in. “Did you guys really needed to have your marital dispute at 4am?”

“Marital dispute?” Keith looked confused.

“She’s saying we argue like an old married couple…” Lance grumbled. “Can you like let go now? You don’t need to pin my arms down, it’s not like we’re fucking each other.” Keith let go but didn’t get it.

“I don’t understand why sex has to do with pinning your- God dammit Lance.”

“Paladins, what is the issue?”

“Lance is-” Lance quickly slapped him across the face gaining a shock from everyone. Keith forgot everything, quickly piledriving Lance into the ground.

“Guys no need to fight,” Hunk added. Lance let out a small scream when Keith punched into his stomach.

“Please this is no behavior for a leader and a paladin, please don’t fight.”

“Why did you hit me!” Keith yelled at Lance, he didn’t respond… god his eyes are unfairly beautiful. He let go, storming out. The rest followed, Hunk stayed behind. He knew something was up. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Lance, come on we’re pals, buddies.”

“Are we… still?”

“Yeah I thought so- what do you mean?”

“All you do is hang out with Pidge, when I’m along, I’m constantly called dumb. I feel like I have zero purpose, I’m not a leader, I’m not smart, I’m not strong… Just pathetic.”

“Where’s all this coming from, you’re not- I mean me and Pidge were targeted more engineering majors, you were on more hands on fighter type.”

“So I’m just a stupid soldier.”

“No, I mean we’re more book and computing dorks, you are like smart when when it comes to fast solutions and tactics. Actually a lot better than Keith is.”

“... I’m better at something than Keith?”

“Well yeah, there’s a lot of things, but there’s things Keith is better at too. He is a better pilot and fighter, but I mean you actually have like a heart. You are an amazing diplomat.”

“Thanks.”

“That’s why you guys were fighting, you didn’t feel good enough?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“He was pushing something I didn’t want to talk about, once I told him to leave he wouldn’t… so I tried to push him out.”

“Yeah Keith is hard to handle, play with fire get burned. I mean you are more water, so it’s probably you make Keith’s skin boil. Get it, cause fire boils water?”

“Yeah I got it… I need to get some sleep.”

“Do you want me to stay… I know your drops get bad.”

“It’s fine, goodnight.”

“Friends?”

“Best Friends.”


	2. Octopus Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heavy pining from Keith

Keith was beating up drones, no point in sleep when he’s this pissed. Him and Lance had another fight? Over what? Keith being worried and concerned? Does Lance know how much he worries Keith? Probably, probably thinks it’s amusing. He slammed his sword into the bot. “... perfect stupid sapphire eyes.” He groaned. He eventually passed exhausted, ending the simulation falling to the ground. Passing out.

He woke up with someone propping his head up giving him a water bottle.

“I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t of fought you. God I’m so stupid, wish you just backed off…”

“Lance?” His head screamed.

“Careful, you are way passed exhausted. Leading isn’t easy, especially when one person is so stubborn and difficult.”

“Lance…”

“It’s my name, don’t wear it out.” Keith groaned at Lance’s cocky attitude. “Look you can hit me after you get proper sleep.”

“I’m not going to hit you.”

“Well you did…”

“Cause you slapped me, now we’re even.”

“I’m sorry… Just- you don’t have that right to tell people.”

“Tell what?”

“That I’m having those thoughts, it’s not that bad okay. I’m not like Shiro, I don’t have PTSD or anything. I’m just being weak.”

“You’re not weak.” Lance didn’t respond but shoved the water bottle in his mouth. Keith didn’t realize he was being lifted up until he was hanging over Lance’s shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“Did you want to sleep on a concrete floor?”

“...No.”

“Then shut up.” Lance carried him back to Keith’s room, laying him on the bed. Leaving painkillers next to the bed. As he was leaving Keith called back to him.

“Lance… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re mostly human.”

“What?”

“I was going to say you’re human, cause humans make mistakes quote, but you’re not so I added-”

“Lance.”

“Hm?”

“You’re rambling.”

“I’m sorry… I’ll go.” Halfway out the door.

“Wait-” Lance stopped again he was tense. “Do… do you want to stay here?” Lance’s head dropped looking at the floor.

“I don’t think that’s really appropriate...”

“Why?” Lance looked back.

“Given our history, you know even though nothing happens what will people say when I leave your room?”

“You really care what Pidge and Hunk are going to think?”

“Yeah, I always do. It kinda hurts that they say stuff I pretend I don’t care. I take a lot of things to the heart… I guess it’s why I really trust you. You tell me the truth even if I don’t like it. When they call me stupid, and stuff I know they are joking but part of me thinks that already. So they aren’t wrong…”

“Lance… Stay.”

“Is… Is that an order?” Lance gave a sigh laugh.

“Yes, just come here id-” Lance stopped. Keith instantly threw his head back. “Lance, no I didn’t mean it. It’s just-”

“Habit… I know. It’s fine, I know you only want me to stay for your own reasons. It’s why I will.”

“What?”

“I made you like this, least I can do is stay if you want me to.”

“I… I’d like if you did.” Lance went to his linen closet pulling out blankets and a pillow laying them on the floor. Wheezing as he went to lay down. Lance took off his shirt relieving a red circle on his rib, it pained Keith, he knew it was from him. Lance wanted him to see.

“I’m sorry… I lost my temper.”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re not the first won’t be the last. My shirt was covered in your sweat I had to take it off, I can’t sleep with it.”

“Hm, you don’t like my sweat? I thought you liked that kinda thing.” Lance giggled smiling up at him.

“Maybe just not yours, some hot alien babe, maybe… Sleepy Keith is flirty.”

“I’m not flirting.”

“Sounds like you are, don’t know if you’ve been staring at my abs or my bruise this whole time.” The comment forced Keith to move his eyes from the bruise searching Lance’s bare chest. He was good looking, there was no denying it. Honestly if Lance just kept his mouth closed and just ripped his shirt off he could actually score. “Now you are looking…”

Keith flopped over to face the wall face red, hearing Lance laugh, but it was in breaths from punching him in the stomach. “What don’t be embarrassed, you’re supposed to admire art.”

“Not funny,” Keith grumbled. Lance stopped for a few minutes, Keith can hear him shuffling around to be comfortable. He was about to offer to share the bed, but that might be something a leader shouldn’t request of a teammate. He rolled over, Lance was awake on his back. He had so many questions, why do you hate yourself? Why do you pretend to be okay? Who did this to you? Why are you like this? Do you know how much I want to kiss you? Do you even like that with boys?

“Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“You gonna just stare at me? Or are you going to sleep?”

“You look uncomfortable.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“I mean it’s kinda weird, you could share a bed with me.”

“Keith, buy me a drink first.”

“Why, I can get water from the sink?” Lance started to laugh into tears, getting up and flopping onto the bed. Keith took the wall side, Lance built a wall between them with pillows and blankets. Yup, he’s straight… what good would it do anyway it’s not like he should date him. Dating anyone on the team is bad idea, especially if you are the leader. That’s like some level of taking advantage of them. God he wanted to take advantage of Lance sometimes...

“Is this really necessary?” Keith asked at the blocking.

“Well I don’t know how you sleep, it’s to prevent octopus arms.”

“Octopus arms?”

“Yeah you know, the tossing and turning, holding pillows for dear life. I don’t want to be the pillow.”

“Oh you think I’m going to spoon you? No way, only in your dreams.” Keith flopped back towards the wall, both finally passed out.


	3. Fire and Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Starts off NSFW

Keith was breathing hard, his hands gripped tight on Lance’s side making him cry. Lance above him rolling his hips. “How the hell did you convince me into this, Lance?”

“I- oh god,” Lance pushed back his hands on Keith shoulders, rolling his head back.

“You’re so good at this,” Keith moaned running his hands over his chest. Lance hissing at the touch. “Keith I want you so bad, I’ve wanted you f-for awhile.”

“Yeah?” He pushed his hips up making Lance scream. Lance nodding his head. “Yes, yes yes…”

“You take cock well don’t you?”

“Oh god, the best- You’re so good Keith, fucking me… I want to feel you inside me.” Lance whined, Keith moaned loud thrusting upward hearing each ooohs and ahs and awes out of him. He grabbed Lance’s body, flipping them over pushing hard into him. Lance gripping at the sheets.

“Yes! Keith! Just- Just like that!” Lance moaned into the pillow, Keith snapped his hips hard and fast until Lance was a mess begging for him. “Cum in me, oh god fill me so deep Keith-”

“You want that, cumming in you so hard?”

“God I love taking our leader’s dick, I’m so needy for you,” Keith fucked Lance twitching as he became closer.

“Keith?”

“Ah fuck right there-”

“Keith??”

“You’re so tight Lance-”

“KEITH!”

Keith was jumped, vision completely different, a very red embarrassed Lance was looking at him in shock. Wait why- no, another wet dream? This time Lance was in bed with him. “Lance?”

“You enjoying yourself?” Lance eyes gestured to Keith’s lap, he followed so stunned from the dream his hand was still wrapped around his dick. Quickly removing it wiping it on his boxers. Lance was biting his lip, he was slightly shaking.

“Lance I’m so sorry- I forgot you were here.”

“You sure…” He said under his breath.

“I didn’t-”

“It’s all good- I’m just kinda, flushed. Wasn’t really expecting to wake up to someone jerking.”

“Please don’t tell anyone.” Keith was panicking, Lance placed his hand on his shoulder.

“I won’t, look I have them too. If you were in my bed, I probably forget too. Just it went on for longer than 10 minutes, I had to wake you up.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”

“Well I was trying to make it not awkward, I was ignoring it staring at the floor waiting for you to be done, but you just kept getting louder. I didn’t want people thinking we were doing it.”

“Yeah… I’m really sorry Lance, I shouldn’t- have those thoughts. It’s so wrong, I’m the leader I shouldn’t be thinking like that- I’m a total fuck up.”

“Keith, it’s all cool. What? You having a dream about me or something?”

“Wait didn’t you like hear me?”

“You moaning and” he made a jerking motion. “Wet slapping noise-”

“Oh gross-”

“YEAH, lucky me right?” Lance scratched his head. Keith covered his face.

“You’re not going to let this go…”

“Not by a long shot.”

“But you won’t tell them?”

“No, I’ll save it when we’re alone-ish. Maybe toss it around to make you all red.”

“I hate you.”

“Okay, whatever you say,” Lance smirked.

* * *

 

Lance had woken up to Keith whimpering, being the protective guy he was he rolled over the pillow wall to see if he was okay. More than okay Keith was jerking himself off, he froze couldn’t stop watching his leader, his teammate, friend? Stroking himself off, hearing him moan and hiss. He finally pulled away, it was so wrong to watch violating him, Keith would kill him.

“Lance~” Keith moaned. Lance’s ears picked up. “So good…” He sucked on his lip, his own junk was sprouting, he could just leave but the curiosity was getting the best of him.

“You like that… you take cock so well…” Lance had to cover his mouth from his own moans. Keith wants to fuck him, his face was so red. He couldn’t do it anymore, this for both their own good. “Keith?” Keith moaned louder. “Keith??” Lance was pushing his shoulder.

“So tight-”

“KEITH!” Lance yelled embarrassed, Keith jumped up still half jerking.

* * *

 

Breakfast was awkward, they felt like everyone knew when they didn’t. Lance wanted to talk about it, he didn’t let Keith know he knew he was screaming his name. Probably deny it, but it’s going to haunt him until he knew.

Keith was avoiding eye contact with him. The team was catching on.

“Are you guys still mad about the fight last night?”

“What fight?”

“Sure of course you forgot Lance slapped you, and you started to pound into him.” Keith and Lance both blushed at the “pound” word.

“No we’re over it,” Lance said. He actually kinda forgot after finding Keith with exhaustion sickness and him jerking off to Lance’s name. Yeah he’s kinda over their fight.

“Is that why you two we’re fucking this morning?” Pidge asked with a smirk. Both looked like they died. Stunned, but the longer they froze Allura and Hunk started to question.

“That’s really inappropriate Pidge,” Keith said. “You and Hunk spend a lot of time together, I don’t say you two are sleeping together.”

“Yeah, so what if I was in Keith’s room!” Lance added, gaining a groan from Keith.

“Way to go Lance,” Keith hissed.

“Well we didn’t fuck, I slept on _the floor._ ”

“Aw you guys had a sleepover without me?” Hunk asked.

“Sorry bud,” Lance said. “No Keith nearly killed himself on training, he should just be in bed now. Seeing how much of a mess he is, thank god I don’t have to be the leader, way too much work. All work and no play.” Keith listened to what Lance said, it kind warmed him inside that he noticed how hard this is on him. “I made sure he actually slept.”

“Did you get any sleep?” Allura asked, Lance waved it off. “Don’t worry m'lady, I’m all okay. I’m glad you are so worried for your knight.” Everyone groaned, Lance gave his fake smile. “Lance… Can I speak with you after this?”

“Yeah, of course.” They finished up their food, people went off doing things. He wanted to be alone with Lance, he had to come forward or else he might be too distracted to even think. Lance followed him around waiting for him to talk. “So we’re walking, you gonna talk?”

“Somewhere private,” they head down to the hangers. “Mind if we take Red… I still feel like Black Lion is Shiro’s, what I want to talk about… I don’t feel really comfortable talking with her. I’m still close with Red.”

“Yeah I get it, I’ve been having a hard time bonding with Red, I guess I’m water she’s fire. I don’t know why she choose me, I mean I’m kinda stupid and like terrible at everything.”

“You’re not… She wouldn’t of picked you if you weren’t worthy.” The climbed inside the mouth, Lance didn’t take the chair. “Did you want us to fly somewhere?”

“We don’t have to, just trying to find from those eavesdropping mice.”

“Yeah…” Lance hummed finally plopping down in the pilot’s chair. “So what did you want to talk about?”

“Do… do you like boys?” Keith kinda spilled out.

“Well kinda I’m bi curious, mostly curious… Like I **_know_ ** I like girls, and I **_think_ ** I like guys.”

“You think?”

“Yeah never tried it, so I don’t know.”

“But you would want to?”

“Keith… Where’s this going? Let’s just be blunt about stuff, no more beating around the bush. Just get to the point-” Keith lips were smashed into his, Lance took a moment before pushing back. Pulling Keith into his lap, pulling away mouth dripping in drool. “Was that to the point enough?”

“Yeah,” Lance leaned up kissing his neck Keith shivered. He finally pulled away. “Okay real talk? This is a really bad idea.”

“I know, god I just can’t stop thinking about you. It’s pissing me off…”

“Are you sure not jacking off?” Lance rose an eyebrow. “Ohhh Lance you’re so good at this, ohh so tight, oh Lance~” Lance mocked moaning. Keith eyes were opened super wide. “So how often are you thinking about me… like that? Cause not to turn you down, I’m not ready for that. Like you were just now the first boy I’ve ever kissed. I don’t know I really want you to slam your dick in me.”

“Lance I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have had those thoughts-”

“I’m flattered, you think I’m hot.”

“You do make training distracting…”

“We probably shouldn’t be doing this?” Keith balled his fists up, grabbing a fistful of Lance’s shirt. “Well why not, you’re clearly interested if you keep teasing me about it.”

“Cause, this is dangerous. I know you like playing with fire. You are already having a hard time leading, now add an extra relationship. A boyfriend?”

“Who said I wanted to date you?”

“What- I don’t understand?”

“I just want to have sex with you,” Keith said coldly. Lance eyes dropped.

“Oh…”

“You’re not really boyfriend material Lance, you’re only hot not much else.” Keith went on, Lance didn’t say anything. “You understand right?”

“Well then I don’t want to, okay? I’ve never done that before, not even with a girl yet. I want to date someone first before I just spread my legs. I’m classy.”

“You don’t act like it.”

“Oh so you thought I was what? A whore?”

“Yeah actually!” Lance shoved Keith off his lap.

“Why are you so mean?” Lance fought back tears. “For what? To make myself good for you is- **_just bend over_**?”

“Lance-”

“I’m not done, you begged me to stay with you last night, you jerked off with me in bed, you don’t get to be the asshole here. I don’t deserve it. So what if I fucking hate myself, last night was great cause I actually felt like you cared a little. Now I see you just want to get in my pants. Some great leader you are. I hate you.” The lion’s mouth opened, Lance ran out of it in nearly in tears. He really wanted something with Keith, he had push him way sake of the team, but to find out all Keith wants is sex. It hurts.

Keith didn’t even know why he said those things, none of it was true. Maybe a little. He did eventually want to have sex, but Lance was his first kiss as well. He was angry he got so close, Lance pushing him away, for what? He was worried Keith couldn’t handle it?

Maybe Lance did have a point, he had a hard time keeping emotions in check. Lance was his impulse control, but to add additional relationship to that. What if Lance got hurt, or went missing like Shiro, Keith could lose it for good. He’s already hurt the team enough, if Lance was worried Keith would upset the balance with them together. He did have a good point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapters posted Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. So next chapter the 13th, yes friday the 13th and Voltron season 4!


	4. Arrangements

Lance didn’t talk to him for over a week, he didn’t care. Lance want to throw himself a petty party. Fine, see if he cares. The team was catching on, Pidge caught on real quick and wasn’t sure who she should approach first. She found that maybe talking to Keith first, him being the leader now- he hated that, he shouldn’t be leading, especially after what happened.

“Hey we need to talk,” she said over her controls. Everyone turned to look at her. “Who are you talking to?” Lance asked.

“Keith,” she responded, Lance’s eyes rolled. Keith looked like he was about to smack his eyeballs out of his skull.

“Yeah sure, what about?” Keith tried to collect himself, prove he was the mature one.

“Just… stuff, you mind?” She pointed her thumb towards the door and the left, putting Allura in charge. There was a sigh of relief when the left, Hunk and Allura faced Lance. “We need to talk… about your behavioral problems.”

“What? I’m being chill AF #Chillax.” Lance responded.

“Dude you and Keith had some pretty bad fight, we don’t know what it’s about but it’s really being a downer.”

“It’s especially hard with Shiro gone…” Allura said quietly. “You two were finally getting along.”

“It’s not my fault Keith wants to get  _ too friendly _ with me.”

“What? So you too aren’t fighting?”

“No… He means Keith is putting the moves on him- but like as if?  _ Keith of all people? _ ” Hunk huffed.

“Forget I said anything, I said I wouldn’t.”

“Secrets must not be kept, reveal.”

“What do you want me to say princess? Keith jacks off while I’m bed with him, and tries to have sex with me I turn him down, he thinks I’m a whore!”

“Woah, are we talking about…  _ Keith? _ ”

“Yeah stupid mullet with serious lack of people’s feelings. It was cute at first, like I was on board if he wanted to go on a date. I brought up the realities how this is wrong and it shouldn’t happen, he said he never wanted to date me just that I’m hot and he only wanted sex.”

“ _ Keith? _ ”

“You know whatever, wouldn’t believe me if I said the castle was on fire and if it was. Nah Lance you’re an idiot, that’s clearly not what happened.”

“Easy Paladin, it seems as though maybe some of his actions have made you feel that way. But I ensure you Keith wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh shit must’ve been a ghost then.”

“Look what she’s trying to say is, maybe you are exaggerating? Like lately he’s been joking around playing off of you, but he wouldn’t do that.”

“You know what, I’m done. I can’t stay here another second and feeling like I’m the person who’s supposed to be guilty. My body, my rules, that’s how it works.” He grabbed his jacket storming out towards the hangers, to grab Red and speed off into the blackness.

“Well that didn’t go well…” Hunk said.

“You think, maybe he’s telling the truth?”

“Well he seemed to really think it is, Pidge is talking to Keith. Most likely the stories will be different, so I don’t know.”

* * *

 

“...Look I know you and Lance don’t get along, we’re not exactly close. But the whole team is annoyed by you two, so knock it off. Clearly Lance is pissed off, it takes a lot for him to get like this, having the most talkative person stop talking to you. So what the hell is going on?” Pidge chewed at him, Keith was a little taken back. He could lie, what point would that do, the team should know how awful he is, maybe the black lion will choose someone else.

“Things aren’t good between us… I kinda ruined what- if any friendship we had left.”

“What did you do?”

“I might’ve kissed him-”

“You what?!”

“And he kissed back! But then he got all weird about it, like it was wrong because I’m the leader and we shouldn’t see other paladins- giving me the responsibility speech, from Lance of all people. I just got super pissed and said things I didn’t really mean.”

“Well what did you say, because it must’ve really struck a cord.”

“I pretty much said I don’t want to date him, I only wanted sex with him, he’s hot but not good for much else.”

“Ouch.”

“I feel bad, cause I actually started to like Lance… Even though he gets on my nerves. He’s really been there for me during this, keeping me from like killing everyone.”

“Your impulse control, I mean I kinda thought you guys had sexual tension way before this. Like from day one, all your bickering usually was basic case of just fuck already.” Pidge said annoyed, Keith turned a little red.

“He said I was the first guy to kiss him, and that he’s a virgin… that he didn’t want to do that stuff unless we’re dating. But he doesn’t want to date because it’ll hurt the team, ugghh why is he so difficult.”

“He does have a point, especially being in the red and black lions, you guys are pretty much in charge. If like you guys break up, both have explosive personalities it would destroy us. Maybe you guys need to mature more… I don’t think either you are ready, maybe need to fucking make out in a closet now and then to get rid of that tension. But I don’t think you guys can put a relationship together. You guys would only fight and bang.”

“You’re right, but what do I do now-”

“Talk to him idiot, deal with his silence but force him to hear you out. And maybe don’t say you only want him for sex, might make him feel worthless.” Just as they were finishing up talking Lance stormed past them angered, looking back to the doors he came from. “I think Allura and Hunk tried to talk to him, this would be a good time to go.”

* * *

 

Lance was crying in front of the red lion, Keith stood above him. “I hope you’re so proud of yourself Kogane.”

“I’m not,” Keith kinda shuffled awkwardly.

“Go away, don’t you have someone else you can go make miserable?”

“No, just you.”

“Well fuck me with a chainsaw.”

“Nice, Heathers…”

“You watch-”

“A sicko dark humor drama about killing stupid assholes in high school, sign me up.” Keith hummed sitting next to him.

“Oh I only saw the musical.”

“It’s a good musical, I like dead girl walking…”

“Of course you do,” Lance said cynical.

“What?”

“It’s about getting fucked.” Keith shrugged, at least they were talking.

“Well what’s your favorite song, let me guess candy store.”

“No, Kindergarten Boyfriend or I Am Damaged…”

“Those are depressing as fuck, why?” Lance just gave a giant sparkle grin.

“Hi I’m Lance, I hate myself, nice to meet you.” He blinked his eyelashes quickly, dropping the smile, giving a deep sigh.

“That’s not funny, I have more issues than you.” Great compare yourself…

“SO sorry, I didn’t realise being emo was a one person job.”

“Lance… I’m sorry about before. I don’t want to have sex with you.”

“Great so you don’t want to date or sleep with me, got it.”

“No, I mean-” Keith groaned in frustration. “I got mad you pulled away, I didn’t get it. I do now, and I should’ve been thinking the same thing. It wasn’t cool what I said, I would want to date you… we’re just not ready, there’s too much going on… Still finding Shiro.”

“I was wrong too, I should’ve let you lead. I mean I’ve only been with girls, prefer them… I was your first kiss. I should’ve let you enjoy it.”

“I did... it was a good kiss, I was surprised.”

“Yeah it kinda was, but I should’ve let you explore me-”

“Lance, this is your body, only you get a say. I should’ve respected it, that wasn’t cool as a leader or a person to do.”

“Thanks… So what happens now, so we don’t date, we don’t have sex… I can’t deny we do kinda want hate fuck each other.”

“I wouldn’t say hate…”

“An act of violent fiery passion?”

“Fine hate fuck… I don’t hate you though.”

“... I don’t hate you… right now.” Lance sighed. “It usually ranges from fuck to punch you in two seconds.”

“You piss me off less than one.”

“OooH, whatever. So what now, like want to make out?”

“D-do you want to make out?” Keith asked surprised.

“Yeah I guess, nothing better to do.” Lance shrugged.

“Oh thanks.” Lance kissed his cheek, before moving to his neck. “You like my neck, much?” Lance giggled against the skin nipping at it. Keith unaware of his plan, Lance bit and sucked more. The guy probably never had a hickey before, call it a little payback for thinking Lance would be cheap. Keith moaned, rolling his head to the side enjoying how it felt. His hands running down Lance’s back, reaching a hand in his hair. Lance eventually pushed him onto the floor, climbing on top of Keith. Keith looking up nearly about to burst. Oh god he’s thought about Lance on top like this for awhile, he’d even let Lance a few times in combat just to be pined by him… Lance was peppering him in kisses, trailing his fingers over Keith’s chest. Keith, couldn’t help but move his hands down his back to his ass. Giving a soft squeeze, Lance bucked involuntarily by it, which caused him to grind on Keith- who was moaning loudly. Lance covered his mouth with his to quiet him. 

“We don’t want someone walking in,” Lance smirked biting the same place on his neck again, he rolled his hips down into Keith’s hands, he cupped him rubbing in circular motions of Lance’s impossibly firm ass. “You like that huh?” Keith asked.

“Well don’t expect much more,” Lance opening his mouth searching his tongue. Lance was more dominate and collected than in Keith’s dreams. He acted cool, and Keith was turning into a mess beneath him. He was aching, he thrusted up- Lance stopped and looked down at him. “Welp I’m done,” he climbed off, readjusted his clothes, wiped his mouth. He was chuckling as he ran off. Keith starred up from under Red, he was dying in his jeans… He slammed his hand on the ground in frustration. Lance will be the death of him.


	5. Compare

Keith didn’t really get the giggles and looks the team gave him, it made his neck and face red. Lance seemed so pretty amused, but no one would tell Keith anything. “What?” Keith snapped, everyone laughed and turned away. “It’s been like two days, how have you not looked in mirror?” Pidge asked him.

“What?”

“Lance left a massive hickey on your neck,” Pidge pointed Keith placed his hand on his neck. Looking sharply at Lance, who rolled his head back laughing and continued to walk away.

“What the hell Lance?” Keith yelled at him, making Lance scurry away.

“So you to are getting along again,” Hunk gave a wink wink.

“No it’s not like that!” Keith tried to protest, stumbling over his words when he got angry. “We’re not like that.”

“Really, cause you are sure showing off, Lance’s work,” Pidge said looking over her glasses with a smirk. “I didn’t think you were the bottom.”

“I don’t even know what that means!” Keith growled.

“Seriously? You know bottoms, submissive, whipped.”

“He’s totally whipped,” Hunk added. Keith was balling his fist, he didn’t find any of this funny. Whipped, what the hell does that mean as well. Hunk and Pidge were so proud of their comments, thinking they were world class comedians.

“This isn’t funny.”

“It kinda is,” Hunk said.

“Yeah it’s like watching a really dramatic soap unfold between you two… So how was it?” Pidge wiggled her eyebrows.

“The hickey? I didn’t even know- it’s been really, difficult the last few weeks. I barely look in the mirror, so I guess, uneventful.”

“Did you guys,” Pidge made a circle with her fingers the other hand putting a finger through the hole.

“NO!” Keith yelled at her.

“Oh they so did…” Hunk added on, Keith was flaming.

“Will you two shut up! We’re not like that!”

“Well Lance said some things…” Hunk said softer compared to Keith’s yelling.

“Oh really what did that asshole say?” Keith challenged, making Hunk take a deep swallow. “That what we’re sleeping together, cause it’s a lie.”

“He said you guys were in bed together… you did stuff.” Keith stepped back, his face turned white. “Like you touched yourself-” Keith was instantly storming away towards Lance. Lance was almost to his room when Keith shoved him into the wall.

“What the fuck, Keith?”

“Me? What the hell- you said you wouldn’t say anything!” Keith was furious.

“What are you talking about?”

“You told Hunk what I did when we stayed the night together!”

“I- I didn’t mean to, you of all people know you say things when you’re pissed. And Allura and Hunk kept getting on my case, I was pissed how you treated me inside Red. So it slipped out…”

“ _ Slipped out _ … Sure.”

“Yes, look I’m sorry. I was pissed, no one brought it up until now. So probably no one cares. Besides Hunk and Allura didn’t believe me anyway. Probably now because you’re making it a big deal.”

“Fuck you…” Keith hissed, slamming his hand next to Lance’s face next to the wall. They didn’t move for a few ticks, Lance turned to look at the hand and back to Keith.

“Go ahead… It’s only fair…” Lance said quietly.

“Do what?” Keith asked confused.

“You’re going to hit me, right?” Lance asked looking into his eyes, Keith heart raced. He wanted to hit himself, he was scaring Lance, threatening him.

“You’re scared of me?” Keith looked down at the ground.

“... Yeah, a little.” Lance admitted, licking his lips. Voice raspy and deeper, Keith was looking at the ground. But Lance’s voice, was familiar… the deepness. Keith looked up at him, moving his hand from the wall to Lance’s hair. Lance not batting an eye, calm, sucking on his lip. Gripping Lance’s hair tight pulling him just above his mouth. “I’m turning you on?”

“ _ Oh yeah _ …” Lance smirked.

“You like when I do this?” Keith asked smirking against his lips. “Grabbing you? Pinning you? You have something for fear?”

“It’s… adrenaline. Making me do what you want, even though it scares me… I find it really kinky.” Lance was blushing, as Keith bit into his neck. “I’m guessing this is your revenge.”

“What did you want a black eye?”

“Nah, make me polka dotted,” Lance giggled his head rolling back to the wall holding back a moan. Keith’s teeth were sharp, partially to being part Galra. Lance hissed at the blood drawn, it stinging as air touched it. Keith lapping it up with his tongue- Lance’s knees gave in. Keith grabbed under Lance’s knee holding it around his waist. Getting more confident in kissing and biting Lance. Grabbed Lance’s hands pinning them above his head. Now sucking on the other side of his neck. “Keith…” Lance moaned.

“Hmm?”

“Can… Can we go inside, take this-” Lance was blushing and nervous. “Take this to my bed…” Lance looked ashamed asking, Keith froze for a second a surprised. Lance quickly becoming fidgety, doing his back out thing- Keith didn’t want him to do that. He quickly opened Lance’s door shoving him inside, before Lance could start protesting, Keith pinned him to the bed. 

“How do you want this?” Keith asked, Lance’s chest lifting up and down.

“I want you… to do that biting thing again.” Keith licked his canine teeth before biting deep into Lance’s soft skin. He was so soft, nothing could compare Lance’s skin. Lance held back moans and whines. Whimpering underneath Keith, Keith trailed his fingers under Lance’s shirt, touching his bare chest and nipples. Lance closed his eyes, pushing upward towards his hands. “Take it off…”

“What?” Keith asked.

“The shirt. Off.” Lance grumbled, wiggling around pouting. Keith would roll his eyes, if Lance wasn’t so cute right now. Taking Lance’s shirt off over his head and tossing it to the floor. Lance stared up at him, like he was waiting. “What?”

“Aren’t you going to take yours off?” Lance asked annoyed, Keith kinda quickly scrambled taking his jacket off and quick movement of his arm, his shirt gone in one quick pull.

“This better your highness?” Keith rolled his eyes, not actually annoyed. It was more of a game at this point between them. Joking around pretending to hate each other. He liked looking at Lance’s golden skin, and Lance’s hands roaming over his was any guess- he liked looking at Keith too.

Lance didn’t respond, kinda wide eyed. “You’re so hot…” Lance mumbled. “It’s not fair…” He looked down over the bed to the discarded shirts, feeling vulnerable. He’d never look like Keith, Lance was tall and lanky. Sure being part of the Garrison and Voltron has made him more stronger, he wasn’t really toned. Well Keith wasn’t much either, but he made it up in his flat stomach and abs. Keith was hard as a rock, Lance was soft and bruised easy.

“Ugg…” Keith growled at Lance. “What now?”

“N.. Nothing, I’m fine.”

“You’re looking like a deer in headlights what’s up?” Keith asked sitting up on his heels.

“Just…” Lance sighed embarrassed. “You’re… hideous, and I hate you.”

“Oh fuck you.”

“But for real… It’s hard to not compare, you’re just… better.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m soft and squishy, you are like stone. Just, I don’t feel-”

“Lance are you serious right now? Mr. Look at my stupid smile, and golden tan skin. You honestly think I look good, you talk shit about my hair all the time.”

“Well it is dumb,” Lance sat up.

“Lance…”

“Well look at you, you train, discipline yourself… I’m like not.”

“Lance. I’m pale, I look like I belong on myspace, honestly I’m not that good looking. I really don’t see what you’re talking about. Sure, I’m not  _ squishy _ , but I’m pretty thin and pale. Not really attractive.”

“... Maybe we should turn the lights out, so we don’t have to look at each other.” Lance suggested nervously.

“You really can’t stop comparing yourself to me?” Keith climbed off the bed to hit the lights.

“I haven’t stopped since day one… so don’t expect me to just stop.” Lance crossed his arms. Keith stood above him in the dark, not sure what to do. He started to unzip his skinny jeans, Lance just stared at him in horror. “What are you doing?”

“Taking my pants off, what?”

“I didn’t plan on that tonight, I still require dinner and a movie.”

“Jesus, I’m not having sex with you. It’s just easier to move around if they’re off, too tight in some places.”

“Some places?” Lance smirked.

“Oh shut up, you’ve been hard since the hallway.” Keith sassed at him, stepping out of them.

“...Well then I’m taking off mine,” Lance huffed, pulling off his jeans.

“Good,” Keith pulled them off Lance’s legs fully. Pretty much tackling Lance into the sheets, making Lance giggle. “What?”

“I’m a little ticklish.”

“It’s cause you’re squishy, I can do things…” Keith wiggled his thumbs into his sides, making Lance squirm. Lance tried curling inward, flopping around like a fish. Laying on his stomach, pinned by Keith. Lance couldn’t stop the dirty thoughts in his head, wanting Keith to grind into him, bite him, claim him. Just take him now, even though Lance was still scared of doing the deed with Keith. He thinks if Keith just did it, he’d be fine. He arched his ass up, humming into the pillows, rubbing his navy boxers against Keith’s black ones. Keith froze up for a second.

“Lance?”

“What… you can touch, unless you’re scared.” Lance challenged, Keith grabbed his sides, Lance was thinking about when it happens- wait why does he have to be the bottom, he can fuck Keith right? SMACK. Lance jolted forward. “Ow!” Keith hand rubbed over the burning spot on his ass. SMACK. Lance’s shoulders tensed up, he wasn’t sure how he feels about this yet. It hurts, but it’s not a turn off or turn on, he’s just indifferent to the spanking. Well if Keith liked it, maybe they can explore Lance’s kinks next time. Lance kept himself braced, holding himself up on his elbows, each blow hurt more and more- but he didn’t want to let Keith know that, give him that satisfaction. Each hit, Keith would soothe over, which did feel nice. Kinda like tense and release exercising, it became relaxing- but the redness on Lance’s face and hot tears was telling him something else. Keith hit hard and fast, but pauses between, always gave Lance time to breathe. He will not let Keith win, he can handle it.

Lance was frozen, mind just blank. Keith had stopped and was looking right at him. “Are you okay?”

“Huh?” Lance wiped his eyes.

“Was that too much?” Keith asked upset and kinda shy. 

“No…”

“You fainted.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Dammit Lance you can’t push yourself, just to please others.” Keith lectured, worried about Lance. Lance refused to meet his eyes.

“... Well maybe that’s how I get off, putting others first.”

“No, you can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Lance asked offended.

“It’s not fair to you, why- I don’t get how a person like you can be so-”

“So what?” Lance demanded.

“So damaged. What happened to you? What made you like this?”

“Maybe it’s just a who…” Lance still looked at the sheets.

“Am I doing this to you? Lance, you have to tell me to back off. I’m hurting you- why are you letting me?”

“I… I don’t know- wait Keith, it’s not you, I’m just like this, I can’t explain it. I have a pretty awesome life. I’m selfish, and confused. I have a great family, friends, I got into an amazing school- now a defender of the universe? It’s wicked cool… I don’t know why- why I’m not happy.”

“Maybe you just are depressed.”

“Don’t I need a reason to be?” Lance asked.

“Not really… I mean it’s super common, I’m not really sure on the whole science. But it just happens more or less. I mean anyone in your family have it?”

“Well… Mostly the women in my family, and my dad and his brother.”

“That’s a lot of people, it could just be genetic.”

“Well it’s stupid! That I have these ups and down, one minute I want you to fuck me and roll around. The next I’m feeling like shit, ashamed of myself- feeling completely worthless about everything. It’s not fair, why can’t I just be normal?” Lance let out his frustrations. Keith didn’t move, but listened.

“Lance… _You are never going to be normal_.”

“That doesn’t help…”

“You are in space, light years away flying giant magic metal lions that form a giant robot. That’s not normal. Being actually depressed, is actually super common. Especially chronic.” Lance didn’t respond, just rolled onto the bed sighing in defeat. Keith took a moment before laying down next to him, trying to think of something. He placed his chin on Lance’s shoulder, kissing his cheek. Wrapping his arms around him, Lance was heaving his chest. 

“It’s okay, you can cry Lance. I’m not here to judge you… right now.” Lance turned over curling his face in Keith’s chest, crying- it wasn’t a normal cry Keith was used to. The nightmares or pouty Lance, Lance was holdin it mostly in his chest but still sought out the warmth that came from Keith’s body.

“You’re not… not going to jack off on me, right?” Lance laughed under his tears. Keith made a face.

“I said I’m sorry… and I didn’t do it on you.”

“Shut your pretty face,” Lance said kissing his lips. Curling comfortable in Keith’s arms, Keith wasn’t comfortable this type of intimacy- it felt way too personal for him. It was clear Lance needed it though, so he suffered. Cuddling is just weird- Lance fell asleep like that. His face all puffy and red, Keith didn’t like Lance like this. It’s just wrong.


	6. Left Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pt. 1 small arc towards advancing their relationship

Sleeping with Lance is miserable, is all Keith can think. He tosses and turns, steals the blankets and has cold feet. Keith’s arm feeling like it was going to fall off, having Lance’s dead weight on him. It actually got to the point it was painful for him, that he used his other hand to push Lance off. He shook his arm, clenching his hand to get blood flowing again, before crawling out of the bed. A part of him was telling him to stay, comfort Lance throughout the night. They weren’t really that kind of intimate though, they kinda arranged making out and that’s it. This required a lot from Keith, to feel vulnerable, and how Lance would open himself to him, Keith just isn’t ready for that. He’s still looking for Shiro, not wanting to bond with the Black Lion, having to actually work with the team. He just wants to do this alone, he clearly can’t lead, the critize how he does it- so someone else should. Forming Voltron was really what is most important at the end of the day, he had to do this, even though him and he’s sure the rest of the team as well much rather someone else lead… But watching him… But watching Lance, sleep, in his arms, that pain in his chest like it’s trying to scab over the hole in him. From being alone so long, losing Shiro for the first time, when he dropped out of the Garrison. Even before all that, he was alone. It’s what he’s best at, being alone, doing things on his own, not relying on anyone or relying on him.

So sitting on the edge of Lance’s bed, at the stupid drooling mumbling boy- he wants to just lay back down again, let Lance murder his arm… He didn’t know why wanting that actually had a physical pain to his chest, like getting hit in the chest by bot in training. He doesn’t know why it hurts, maybe it’s for the best to leave. He stood up grabbing his pants off the floor, sliding them back on, his shirt and jacket following. Without having another second thought leaving the room and making his way towards the training deck.

 

* * *

 

 

The bed was cold by the time Lance woke up, reaching his arm across the bed. Gone.

He tried to not think too much about it, but it was hard, he really hoped to wake up look at Keith’s stupid face covered in black hair. He’d push it out of his face, lean down to kiss him, telling Keith good morning, how happy he stayed with him. How last night meant a lot to him, how Keith seemed to understand when Lance himself didn’t know what was going on in his head. That even though he wouldn’t be normal, it brought some normalcy back to him. Something he was missing from home, Keith made him feel safe even for a little bit. He didn’t have those bad thoughts again that night, he actually dreamt about going on an actual date with Keith.

Of course it was unrealistic, cheesy, nothing but tooth rotting sweet. Nothing Keith would ever do, or like. Lance wants to do that stuff, he likes the romance, he wants to have the flowers and movie nights. Stuff he’d being on Earth if he had a girlfriend or boyfriend in this case. Watch a scary movie, share a popcorn- hands touching, they pull away blushing but look into each other and lean into a kiss. Lance wants this more than anything, well in a relationship. What he wants more than anything is to go home again.

But last night… looking down at the empty space, it made him feel broken. Maybe he was too much for Keith, feeling his problems were too much for the new leader and it wasn’t fair to Keith if Lance added to this. If Lance was in Keith’s shoes he would’ve left as well. Lance refused to get up now, he’d have to see Keith later, it’d be awkward. Easier to roll into the blankets, and sleep forever. Just avoid it, it’ll go away. He’ll forget Keith leaving him like it was a one night stand or something. He was angry, angry at himself. Keith had told him he didn’t want a relationship. Why did he still ache and want to be with Keith, they still practically hate each other. He couldn’t stop comparing himself to him, Keith who doesn’t want to be the Black Paladin- and Lance who actually wants to. Feeling Keith is just better than him, just by a little, that Lance is never noticed if Keith standing in front of him. Keith didn’t even want the attention, Lance craved for it, why couldn’t he ever be just be better at one thing than Keith that people would notice.

“I’d leave me too… Look at yourself, complaining about no one loves you. God I’m pathetic, I would hate to hangout with myself. Well… I am me, and I hate me, so there’s that…” Lance grumbled to himself. He took a deep breath, resettling in bed, sleep off the thoughts so he could put on “Happy Lance” for the team.

 

* * *

 

 

Keith couldn’t stop thinking about Lance all morning, for once something that had him not thinking about Lotor. Lance can be distracting like that, take away the serious stuff for awhile. He focuses on what you need, his willingness to give himself for others. How nervous he is to say no… This worries Keith, he knows Lance is a flirt, eventually someone desperate is going to hit back on him. He wants to be able and know he can say no at anytime. That he means something despite what Lance’s brain tells him. Lance should be able to give himself to who he wants, even loves. Lance should have someone love him, he shouldn’t be messing around with Keith, who isn’t on that level of intimate. He doesn’t feel  _ that _ , it’s never done Keith much good. He loved his parents, they’re gone. He loved Shiro… A brother- only person he let get close to him. He lost, not only once, but twice. He can’t feel that. Lance deserves someone that can, Keith will only hurt him… Or Lance will end up hurting Keith.

He drank from his water bottle, wiped his head with a towel. “Maybe I should… do something for him,” He said to himself, chewing on his lip. “He should be up by now… Probably at breakfast, god he must hate me. Just leaving- no, he’ll understand.”  _ Lance always understands _ … Keith gathered his stuff heading to the dining room, where everyone but Lance was eating. “Ugh, where’s Lance?” Keith asked awkwardly.

“I don’t know, I don’t think he’s up yet,” Pidge replied. “Unless you guys had another fight or something, he’s probably avoiding you.”

“Well we didn’t fight,” Keith said taking to the table. He didn’t know he felt about the team knowing about the dynamic between him and Lance. He didn’t even know what was going on, let alone the team to add commentary to it. “We need to get back on track, Lotor is still out there. After our battle with Zarkon, we can’t risk another, let alone his son trying to take over. It’ll be never ending. I say end it now.”

“So like cutting the heads of the hydra?” Pidge asked.

“Well that’s a myth, and this real. Our last encounter… didn’t end well.”

“Yeah I wonder why,” Lance said walking up to the table.

“Lance-” Keith was about to say but Lance put his hand up.

“Save it,” Lance grabbed his plate and began to leave.

“Lance, you have something to say, say it? I know you’re mad about how I lead, I’m not Shiro. I can’t change that the Black Lion choose me, get over it.” Keith said sternly, Lance was tapping his foot, turning around and sitting into his chair.

“Great, thanks Lance. Can you be anymore of a drama queen?” Keith rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know,” Lance flicked his hair. “Can I?”

“Lance, you’re a moron.” Pidge commented, Lance just winked and went to eating goo.

“You two didn’t fight… but those marks on Lance?” Allura questioned, Lance smirked at her noticing.

“Jealous?” Lance smirked at the Princess.

“More concerned. They look… Like they can be infected.”

“He did break the skin on both, so,” Lance shrugged. “I guess, whatever. It’s not like it hurts.”

“So… I guess Keith got a little revenge from yesterday?” Pidge laughed.

“Guys…” Keith growled.

“Oh work, work, work. Keith, all work and no play makes you a dull boy.” Lance laughed.

“This is serious! We’re like sitting ducks, Lotor could be attacking ally planets, rebuilding what we took down. Do only me and Allura take this seriously? Hunk, what happens if Lotor attacked the Balmara? Or Pidge, the Olkari. Lance…”

“What?”

“What if Lotor was able to make it to Earth.”

“How dare you suggest a thing…”

“This isn’t a joke, we know what Zarkon is capable of. Lotor is just as bad.”

“Okay, hot shot. Mr. Shoot first, have a plan? Because rushing in last time, nearly got us all killed. Unless the gas planet doesn’t ring a bell.” Lance tapped his finger on his chin as if he was pondering. Keith balled his fists up, hissing.

“...I- I need help. I know, fuck. I can’t do this alone, we have to work as a team. Allura,” Keith faced her. “We’ll be working together on a plan, Pidge, we’ll need that brain of yours if we want to be anywhere close to being a step ahead. Lance and Hunk, we had a distress signal, go check it out.”

“Are you serious?” Lance asked.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” Keith replied, crossing his arms.

“No, but you always have a stick up your ass.” Lance said getting up. “I’ll go get ready, you ready Hunk?”

“Yeah, just let me clean up. Meet you down at the hangers.” Hunk said collecting the dishes, Lance nodded leaving towards the hallways. Keith’s hand on his shoulder. “Lance… We’ll talk when you get back.” He whispered.

“I don’t really have anything to say, Keith. It’s pretty clear, like crystal.”

“No, it’s not-”

“Maybe you’re confused, but I got the message.” Lance shook his hand off. “Better go do my job, Leader.”

Keith was left standing watching him leave, eventually Hunk as well. His staring ended with jab to his side. “You hate watching him go, but love watching him leave, eh?” Pidge jabbed her elbow into his side.

“What?”

“You checking out dat ass? Thinking about bouncing a quarter.”

“Pidge… Can you- just stop.” Keith said quietly.

“Woah… things are actually bad?” Her joking voice stopped, was more sincere.

“Look I don’t know, Lance is fucking confusing. He fucking plays games, and thinks I can read his mind. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, I always piss him off. So Whatever, I don’t have time for his. We got shit to do.” Keith said bitterly, walking with Pidge toward the control room where Allura had already been waiting for them. 

“Hmm, I don’t know how to help.”

“I don’t know if you could, it’s really between us… so can you and Hunk-”

“Back off?”

“Please.”

“Yeah, we didn’t mean anything by it… We didn’t think it was that serious between you two.”

“It’s not, it’s just awkward, it doesn’t help trying to think things out when SEX is thrown at us left and right.”

“Okay, I get it. We’ll stop, calm down.” Pidge replied agitated. 


	7. Third Base (Bonus Chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance gets 3rd Base, but not with Keith.

“...then he did this, oh I’m so pissed. Why does he get to be the boss? Him and his stupid perfect face, I want to slam my elbow into…” Lance ranted over and over in the lions, Hunk growing more and more irritated the way when they were on mission to save Shay but everyone seemed to just hang around on the moon.

“Lance, okay you guys have problems.”

“You don’t get it, like I actually break down- and what he leaves me!”

“Maybe it wasn’t-”

“Wasn’t what huh? He just got up to take a piss and never came back. The bed was cold!”

“Look, you’re not exactly best at relationships either… maybe slow it down.”

“I am!” Lance yelled over the comm, Hunk eyed him through visual.

“Lance, I’m only saying this as your best friend. You are being fucking annoying.” Lance instantly shut up, looked down. Hunk wouldn’t ever say that, Hunk isn’t like that- not to him. Lance was still in shock, not only did Hunk drop and F-bomb, but called Lance one of his biggest insecurities.

“You can be really annoying most of the time, but when it comes to your dick no one cares, Lance. Maybe just move on? Stop thinking about Keith, I don’t know just take care of that stuff on your own.”

“You’re right… I’m sorry,” Lance stayed quiet the rest of the trip there. It was a very packed moon, like the swap moon, but it was a nightlife. Bright lights of the Galra purple, and neon greens and blues. Flashy lights, the people on the planet looked like humanoid except the glowing lights on them on the pitch black planet. Impossible to see without the lights, Lance was instantly dazzled by it. Leaving their lions, knowing aware Galra were here. But no current activity of them, but the distress signal still. Glowing lights snaked their way to them, Hunk and Lance had bayards ready. The body fully glowed bluish being, as she stood up.

“Voltron?” She asked, Lance was instantly dazed by her looks. Shiney, sure, but long flowy hair, pretty face, she talked softly. Lance took her hand bowing like he would as a knight. “Why yes, m’lady. I’m Lance, the blu- red, Paladin. We’ve come to your rescue.”

“Oh thank you brave one,” she smiled.

“What seems to be the problem?” Hunk asked, pulling Lance away from her. Lance looking offended, crossing his arms at the cock block.

“The galra, they’ve completely broken our core. It’s our life force, it keeps our light shining. If we stop… we die. We hoped Voltron, could possibly help.”

“Hunk can fix that!” Lance chimed. “He’s super smart, and nice. He can do it.”

“I can?” Hunk asked. “This more Allura and Pidge job, I’m engineer but not like-”

“Hunk, this an energy core. Like a generator, this will be hard for how big. But you can do it, buddy.” Lance smiled at him, encouraging him. “Can you take us to it?” Lance asked.

“Of course, our planet isn’t this dark unless under attack to hide. Luckily most of survived, others more weaker couldn’t survive long without light.”

“Wow… I’m really sorry to hear that, we should’ve come sooner.” Lance said apologetically.

“It’s not your fault, I sent the signal after they came. We weren’t expecting you at all, so this is good!” Taking them to a castle which was in crumbles, wires crushed and just a wreck. A generator had a core that was dim glow. Hunk began to inspect it, Lance just watched unsure how to help. “I never got your name,” Lance asked the girl that led them to the core.

“LoLo.”

“It’s cute,” Lance smiled at her.

“Really?” She pushed her hair back. “It means a lot coming from a Paladin of Voltron. Especially… one so cute himself.” She blushed, Lance was speechless- short circuiting. Last time someone actually did this, he got tied to a tree.

“Thanks, I’m alright.”

“You have a strong light,” she held her hand to his chest. “It’s very bright in there… you are hurt?”

“Hurt?” Lance asked looking down at himself if he accidently cut himself.

“Inside. You are in pain- alone.”

“Wait can you like feel that stuff?”

“It depends on the person, Hunk is hard to read, it’s just pure. But your light is screaming to be touched, paid attention.”

“I do like attention, it’s not wrong.”

“Someone left you, someone you trust?”

“Ugh, no- it’s complicated.”

“I can’t hear his name, but violet eyes and black hair- the black paladin?” Lance was instantly still, his face verging to anger.

“You shouldn’t look into someone like that, it’s private.” She held his chest tighter not letting him go.

“You are begging… I can help you.”

“Help?”

“Come with me,” she pulled him away from the core, Hunk looking angry at Lance as they left. “I’ll return him,” she promised.

The place she took him was packed with people, dancing, celebrating, partying. “What’s going on?” Lance asked.

“Well if you are going to fade, why not be the last night be fun… Let’s have fun,” she pulled his arms forcing him to spin her. Lance got with the program, dancing with her- her hands over his shoulders. Man he wished it was Keith.

“Keith?”

“That’s… his name.”

“Let me help you forget for a night,” She kissed his cheek. “Just for a night.”

“Promise?” Lance smirked, nose touching as she leaned up kissing him. Lance closed his eyes, melting into the electric buzz from their mouths. “Wow…” Lance smiled at her, spinning her but holding her close. He didn’t have the same need as Keith, but she made him feel happy for now. She knew that, she danced in front of him, holding his hands around her.

“Let me get you a drink,” She walked them to the table, she smiled to her people who watched them. They all stared at Lance. “They can all see what’s inside… They feel honored to be in your presence.”

“... But why, you can see what’s inside.”

“You are strong enough to put others first, a true knight’s heart.” She held a cup of bright glowing blue drink, pressing it to his lips. Lance took the sips, his body buzzed and felt light. It tasted tart and sweet, he loved it, as he took the cup and drank more.

“This is amazing, LoLo.” He smirked, his body radiated with confidence, kissing her. She gladly accepted, kissing him back. He held her close to him, as she smiled against his lips. “You’re cute…”

“Thank you, Paladin. We should go, talk more what’s inside.”

“Aww, we just started dancing.”

“Don’t worry we’ll be doing some movement.”

“Oh, okay,” Lance smiled letting her take him anywhere she wants. His mind only could think about pretty lights, and letting someone take control of him. His body more buzzy and like numb on his lips, as the minutes passed as she took him to her den, which in the rumble was concret and sheets. “Is this your home?”

“The Galra…”

“I’m so sorry… We’ll end this- the pain you must be-”

“We’re okay, we accept everyday as our last, you must in Galra ruling. So party never stops.”

“That’s beautiful, so you don’t hold onto things?”

“No not really, we love everyone, but we know we’ll see each other one day.” She sat Lance down, petted the back of his head, kissing his cheek. “I have a gift for you.”

“What?” Lance asked as she climbed on top of him. “Wait… You don’t have-”

“Shhh, it’ll be okay.”

“I haven’t-”

“I know.”

“Then you know…” Lance licked his lips nervous, mouth dry.

“You should tell him. I won’t do that, Lance. I have something else,” she did start undoing his Paladin suit, rubbing him. His head rolling back to the broken wall, as she took him out and started playing with him.

“Wait- I did nothing for you-”

“You think you did nothing for our people? You don’t deserve this? You brought us hope by seeing your soul, I want to make you brighter.”

“That’s okay with you?” He asked nervous, she nodded leaning up to kiss him. Rubbing her thumb over the head gaining a whine from him, before stroking him.

“...Oh God.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Hunk,” Keith said on his arm screen. “What’s the report?”

“Well the Galra totally just kinda ruined their civilization. I’ve already seen them rebuilding, but their main core they survive on his shutting down.”

“Can you fix it?”

“I think so, I was able to get the main part working. Something’s missing, I could really use help.”

“Where’s Lance?” Keith asked a little hesitant.

“Your boyfriend ran off with a girl, left the wok all to me.”

“HE’S NOT MY- Where the hell is he, get him back, now.”

“I tried radioing him, it’s just loud static.”

“What if-”

“He’s fine, the glowarians, are having a last day festival he’s there. You know the attention seeking.”

“I’ll try to get a hold of him, maybe this **_girl_ ** … Might know what’s missing.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… you two are thing-ish, he’s with a girl. Maybe a fight can happen when you guys get back, Lance has already talked my ear off.”

“Lance isn’t being responsible, If I yell at him it’s from being the leader.”

 

* * *

 

 

Lance was moaning into her shoulder, nearly brought to tears. Her hand wrapped around his dick, the other on his chest reading his “light” getting her own high off it. Lance was so close, and this being the closest he’s gotten with anyone. He didn’t want to seem so inexperienced, trying so hard to hold out, she knew what was getting him though.

“Yes,” she said. “I can feel what you like… you are so close, let me help you relax your thoughts.”

“It’s a lot…” Lance mumbled, kissing her neck softly. His toes curled, she pulled at him more. “Lo-”

“LANCE!” Keith voice screamed in the comm, Lance numb and single track mind ripped the comm from his ear tossing it across the room. “Don’t stop,” Lance voice raspy pulling her into a kiss as she went faster. He could hear Keith yelling at him, he couldn’t care right now.

“You’re doing amazing Lance!” She cheered, kissing his cheek as he started to stutter and flinch at each touch. Eventually dripping white strands onto her hand, he felt horrible about it. Turning red, but she only chuckled as she finished him off.

“I’m… so sorry.” Lance was almost in tears. “I shouldn’t-”

“You did amazing, you looked so beautiful. Once you were able to stop thinking and just feel. It felt good didn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

“You’re allowed to feel good, Paladin of Red…” She said, Lance took her dirtied hand looking at it as if it would be weird- “If you wish,” she smiled pushing her hand more to him. He began to suck on her fingers, her bluish glow was brighter as she watched him clean himself off her.

“He’ll love you like this.”

“Hmm…” Lance mouthed between her fingers licking.

“Saving yourself for him, I know you feel he doesn’t want you… He does. He left you this morning cause he was scared, being alone, having you filling that hole. Scared to lose you like his parents, and Shiro? I think that’s the name I picked up.” He pulled off of her, his eyes looking at her hurt.

“How do you feel him?”

“The minute you heard his voice, your connection, I felt him. He’s strongly connected to you. Why you are able to fly his past lion, it trusts you, because of Keith’s feelings for you.”

“He…”

“He is scared of love, it’s why he left you.” Lance wanted to start crying knowing this.

“What we did though…”

“I don’t know, I can only see the past and present… but the future is strong.”

“Thank you,” Lance’s voice cracked as they started to stand up and get dressed. Reattaching his armour. Keith was looking at him on the screen glaring.

“What the hell Lance?”

“I’m sorry…”

“No you’re not, get your ass back to Hunk and help fix this planet so I can properly yell at you, for abandoning your teammate to get whatever you had in mind.” He signed out, which made Lance face fell.

“It’ll be okay… _You know what to do._ ”

“You think it’ll work?” Lance asked, she winked as reply.

“Come on warrior, let’s go repair that power core.”

“Warrior? I like it,” Lance smiled big, as he took her hand as they walked back to the castle. He was red, his hair a mess, dried sweat on his face. He didn’t look he was hiding anything, he didn’t care anymore what Hunk, or Pidge would say.

“Thanks for the help Lance-” Hunk looked him up and down and at LoLo. “You are disgusting.”

“Yeah, I know. What can we do to help?” Lance said looking at the main core generator. “It’s missing something, LoLo?” He looked back at her over his shoulder.

“It needs a true warrior at heart to activate it.”

“Oh like King Arthur and the Sword,” Lance hummed. “Hunk?”

“No I’ve been touching this nonstop. Not me.”

“Well,” Lance leaned on it smirking. “I am named after a knight after all Sir Lancelot.” His hand touched the orb and it began to glow bright purple.

“I knew it was you,” she squealed.

“Wait- I don’t get it, you said Hunk was pure, why me?”

“A warrior is like sculpted metal, it bends, breaks, but is made into something of art.”

“Wow… That’s like the best compliment ever.”

“Well, I would think that other thing was…”

“Oh… Yeah that, was very good,” he blushed. Hunk looked at both of them, then made a face of disgust. Lance walked up to her kissing her cheek. “Thank you.”

“No thank you, thank you both. Without both of you, we’d be doom. We have hope for our future now we are Allies of Voltron.”

Lance and Hunk said their last goodbyes before getting in their lions. “Keith is so pissed…” Hunk told him.

“Eh, let him. I wonder what he’ll do, ravage me up?”

“You mean punch you.”

“Kinky.”

“Lance…”

“What it’ll be fine, I got it under control.”

“Oh yeah, ‘hey Keith, oh I’m sorry I got a handjob by some chick, want to make out?’ He’ll love that.” Lance laughed at Hunk’s imitation of his voice, smiling proudly about only what him and LoLo know. “Lance, whatever you’re planning no.”

“Lance, yes,” Lance sped his lion faster to the castle.

 

* * *

 

 

Keith leaned against his chair in mission control arms crossed, waiting to chew Lance out. How could he? Fine they weren’t together, but Lance made it seem like Keith meant more to him than just a makeout. Lance danced in giggling.

“Did you hear Keith, I’m a true knight and warrior to the Glowarians!”

“If you spread your legs enough, I’m sure they’ll call you anything.”

“Nope, I got special stuff. I turned this big orb thing on, because I’m sculpted metal.” Lance plopped into Keith’s chair, arms behind his head laughing.

“You ditched Hunk, this is unacceptable. And for what?”

“A handjob?” Lance added looking at him trying to read how Keith responds.

“Why… I- Last night, I thought we had something. Bonding?” Keith stuttered, Lance stood up placing both his hands on his shoulders.

“Keith… On that planet, I saw things. I know why you left me, I was fucking hurt. I felt dirty and cheap, knowing you went to bed with me but I woke up cold… But I know now.”

“Lance you don’t. If you did… Then you are a fucking prick for sleeping with her.”

“I didn’t sleep with her, it’s just 3rd base!”

“Shut up! You know nothing why I left, you are just deep down like this. You just want to sleep around.”

“Hello~ Still a virgin.”

“I can’t, just get out of my face. I’m about to fucking punch you,” Keith screamed at him, Lance grabbed him by the front of his shirt pulling him into a kiss. Keith pushed him off. “No! You don’t get to do that and then kiss me!”

Lance didn’t back down, he grabbed Keith’s wrists, kissing his face again. “I said stop!”

“Then hit me,” Lance dared.

“...No,” Keith refused to match his face, his hands still held. “I fucking hate you… I can’t have you hurt me. Not after Shiro, you can’t do this to me.” Keith eyes starting to water, he was able to get out of Lance’s grasp to quickly remove the tears starting. “I don’t fucking cry in front of people, fucking leave me alone.”

“Keith,” Lance’s voice stern making Keith look at him. He pushed Keith into the chair. “I know, I found out after. Listen. I get it, you’re scared… With Shiro, your parents, it’s too much with me. Do you want this? I can’t be forced to be yours if I’m not, I need love Keith. If you can’t do that, then it’ll save us both the heartache.”

“Do… you even love me?” Keith looked at his lap. Lance took a deep breath, falling to his knees to look up at him.

“I have too much heart... “ Lance started. “I love Allura… I love Hunk, Pidge, Coran… I love Shiro. I fucking hate that I love you too. I don’t… I hurt, I don’t want you to hurt me.”

“Well I don’t want you to hurt me either…” Keith said quiet, Lance looked over Keith’s shoulder to the door before back at him. “Keith, I want to give you something.”

“What?” Keith asked as Lance’s hands were at his pants, undoing. “Are you giving me what she gave you, ugh no thanks.”

“No… Not that.” Lance chewed lip. “I know I talk too much, hell Hunk called me fucking annoying earlier. Let me use that mouth in a less annoying way.” Keith watched as Lance unzipped the front of his black jeans. Moving his hand rubbing Keith getting him out of his boxers through the pants opening. Keith was so soft, Lance began touching him more.

“Lance,” Keith warned as he hissed through his teeth. Lance began to lick him, feeling him up. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…” he said over and over as his dick began to strain half mast, Lance took him into his mouth. Keith’s head instantly flying back against the chair.

“Oh god… _Lance_.”


	8. Just Give In Already, Love Lance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys don't know how to use words, and things don't go as one would of hoped it would. Lance really wants Keith to move them in a relationship that isn't just physical, but for now that's all he knows how to communicate. When using your words, you might not hear the one's you want back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers at the end about future chapters

Keith couldn’t think anymore, what Lance was doing, he covered his mouth trying to fight the moans from his lips. His other hand gripping Lance’s hair, Lance moaning around him, that send vibrations through his body. He was still mad, he hopes Lance thinks this makes it okay now just because he’s blowing him. “I’m still-AH- Fucking pissed, Lance…” Keith tightened his grip, making Lance whine. Lance pulled off with a wet slurp noise, wiping his mouth.

“Look I know, do you want me to finish or not? You can lecture after you cum down my throat…”

“Wait…” Keith rose an eyebrow looking down at him, hand still firm in Lance’s hair. “Swallow?” Lance nodded, Keith grabbed his jaw opening it, pushing back in. Lance letting out a surprised gasp, before readjusting.

Lance has never done anything like this before, sure he’s flexible he can lick himself to a point. He can’t deepthroat himself though, he didn’t really think he’d do something like this either, so he didn’t like practicing with lollipops or popsicles. He didn’t want Keith to physically hurt him in this position, being on his knees where anyone can come in any moment. Was vulnerable place, but god his jaw hurt. He underestimated how hard blowing was, he let his jaw relax for a second. Keith jolted making a yelp, gripped his hair pulling him up.

“What the fuck Lance! Bite me?”

“It was an accident! My mouth hurts!” Lance’s voice cracked, looking up with watery blue eyes. Keith glared at him, he wanted to yell at Lance more, but he looked genuinely sorry. At the same time, he really wanted to get off, so close…

“Well…” Keith said calmly, petting Lance’s head, who instantly melted to the affection. He got out of the chair, holding Lance’s hair pulling him where he wants. Making Lance scoot back a little so Keith can have a firm stand above him. His other hand holding his dick by Lance’s lips. “...Don’t do it, again.”

“I won’t,” Lance began kissing the head, taking a deep breath of air before going back to sucking.

“I know,” Keith said with a little bit of mischievous tone. “Hold your jaw open, hold my sides. Don’t move.” Lance looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “That’s an order…?” Keith tried to pull off the serious leader voice, but faltered not feeling it was right.

Lance did what he was told giggling at Keith stuttering at his words. His mouth gaped wide around Keith, and held tight to Keith’s waist. Keith gripped his hair with both hands, thrusting deep into Lance’s throat. Lance made a choked gag, but kept his mouth open. Keith started to face fucking him, harsh and quick thrusts. Slower at first, spaces between the thrusts.

“Lance…” Keith mumbled, one hand left Lance’s hair to caress his face. Lance closing his eyes to the softer touch on his cheek, Keith wiped the tears from his face. He felt bad now, Lance didn’t know, and he was hurt Keith left him… It’s not like he owned Lance, force him to be his forever and only. He can’t be that mad, but he was hurting too, he wants Lance to like him like that. “Is this too much? We can stop- if you are only doing this because I’m mad… are you hurting?” Pulling Lance’s face off.

“...Mm -ine.”

“Mine?”

“I’m… Fine,” Lance chest was heaving, drool and precum over his face and chin.

“You look you are about to die-”

“It’s hot.”

“Need water-”

“No. This. Is fucking hot… You- please do more.” Lance nearly begged. “You don’t actually taste bad, _and the noise you make_ … Please?”

“You… like this?”

“YES!” Lance exclaimed voice shaky and lips smacked against each other. “Come on, Keith. You had the right idea, do you want this?”

“Well yeah-”

“Then fuck me!” Lance yelled at him, yanking at Keith’s pants around his thighs. Keith rolled his eyes, but gripped Lance’s head and started thrusting in him again.

“So you like this Lance?” Lance hummed in approval. “You really think, doing this? Me face fucking you? You have some dirty needs, Lance.” Picking up the pace more.

BEEP BEEP BEEP. The overhead map of the universe started to beep loud, showing Lotor’s location. “NOOOoooo, fuck. No no no. For once, fuck!” Keith gripped Lance’s hair tighter than he has, going fast and hard as he could. Lance practically coughing and gagging, gripping Keith’s clothes to brace himself.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. Just so- fuck close.” Keith grunted, his nails digging into Lance’s head. “They’re going to come in- see us. Dammit I need to cum already.” The beeping got louder, he could sense the team just down the hall. Lance bobbed his head meeting each forceful blow against him, but wanted to not get caught, quicker the better. “Fuck-ck-ck, fuck…” Keith mumbled over and over, arching his body over him. Cradling Lance’s head flush against him, a few more shakes.

“I’m… _ah,_ ” Keith sighed filling Lance’s mouth. Feeling Lance’s throat bob swallowing gulps. Lance was wheezing and breathing hard, flopping onto his back as Keith let go of him. Keith quickly pulling his pants back up as the door slid open, red as hell, as he readjusted his boxers bunched up.

“Looks like we found him, how soon do you want us to leave?” Allura asked, Keith wide eyed still trying to process, I just came inside Lance- technically. Lance just blew him- Lance-?

Lance looked like he was near cardiac arrest, breathing hard, tears still pouring out of his eyes. Lance had managed to wipe his face before people came in, but he was trying to breathe curled up on the floor.

“What’s wrong with him?” Pidge asked looking back to Hunk who was next to her.

“Don’t look at me, he was fine before he came in earlier. Mission was fine… Lance was more than okay.”

“He’s fine, just some sparring,” Keith tried to make an excuse up. Looking at Lance that raised a thumbs up. “ _Yup…_ ” Lance croaked out.

“He’s in the quadrate,” Keith walked up to the computer zooming to a cluster of a few planets. “We should leave in about 2 vargas.”

“I’d think you’d want to leave sooner,” Pidge said.

“Lance and Hunk just got back, they need to resupply before we head out.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Sparing?” Lance laughed walking towards the showers.

“You wanted me to say, I don’t know, _Lance gave me a blow job?_ ” Keith rolled his eyes opening the doors to the shower room.

“That was a face fucking, there’s a difference.” Lance started to undress, taking off the armor he’ll have to put on again in like 20 minutes.

“Really?” Keith asked, Lance just looked up with baggy eyes slightly annoyed. “I’m sorry… I hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me,” Lance said quieter. “Besides my voice slightly cracky and itchy, I’m fine.” Lance shrugged. “Also pretty much pulling the hair out of my head- but hey, act of passion. You were enjoying it.”

“I kinda wanted it just get done…”

“That was only after though, you liked it.”

“Fine, so what now? We upgraded? We’re now doing blow jobs on top of making out?” Keith asked stressed out.

“ _Well if that’s what you want…_ ” Lance said disappointed.

“Well what do you want? You’re that blew me, why are you acting disappointed. What you think I won’t blow you back or something?”

Lance chuckled a little, stepping inside the shower stall. “Thanks… I accept your offer, for later. I-” Lance stopped. “You know what, why do we need to change anything? I guess we’re just not taking the traditional route of things.”

“What do you mean?” Keith crossed his arms, listening to him talk.

“It’s nothing, forget it. We got stuff to do, I got to make sure you don’t do something stupid.”

“Only stupid, is you.”

“Exactly, I’m an expert. So no trying to blow us all up, cause you want to get this done as fast as possible.”

“I’m sorry…”

“We’re fine, just don’t do it again.” Lance grabbed his toothbrush, scrubbing his teeth, spitting out anything that was left in his mouth.

“I thought you said you’d swallow,” Keith joked hearing Lance spit.

“Shut up, you’re lucky I got any down. Being the first time I ever done that. I’m lucky when you started pounding into my face I didn’t vomit.”

“YOU SAID YOU LIKED THAT.”

“.... I wasn’t lying…” A moment passed both of them laughing. Lance stepped out of the shower, a towel around him. Keith watched beads of water on his chest. “Seriously Keith? Am I actually distracting you, I’d think you’d be tapping your foot for me to hurry up to go fight Lotor.”

“Well less than an hour ago, your mouth was on my dick. It’s hard to forget.”

“Wow good to know, I was so memorable,” Lance winked. Drying off the question aching in him to just come forward. Just be honest, you fucking gave him head, least you could do is come forward. “Hey Keith…”

“Yeah?”

“Remind me… why this,” he pointed between them. “Isn’t meant to be?”

“Well, it’s not really professional to have relationship with each other.”

“I gave you head, we’re passed that.” Lance slid on a new pair of underwear, sliding the black skin tight bodysuit on. Keith looked uncomfortable about the question, Lance knew he was trying to make excuses.

“If you don’t like me… I get it,” Lance said quietly.

“It’s not that, It’s why I didn’t stay with you. I can't worry about you, and I feel like if this was a thing… I would put more investment into you than the rest of the team or the mission. I can’t ever be with you.” Keith sighed. “You understand right?”

Lance licked his lip, he wanted to cry. He nodded looking down, his lip trembled. He finished putting his Paladin suit on. He quickly left for the hangers not saying anything else to Keith. He messed up, he shouldn’t of gotten that hand job- no, he shouldn’t of became invested. Keith only sees him as a teammate or someone to fuck, there isn’t any room for. “Hey I’ve seen you cum, buy me dinner?” In the relationship. Lance just wanted a little bit of that, he knew he pretty much turned into a mess when Keith petted him, or held him.

Lance needs to put his foot down, if Keith can only emotionally handle zero strings. He has to keep to it, he can’t let Keith touch him or hold him. Let him be encouraging, make Lance feel like he mattered. Lance would just keep falling over and over, and won’t move on. He’d never get back up again if Keith gives him small fragments of hope. There isn’t any. Lance needed to learn how to give up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is ending the short one shot vibes, and chapters 9-15 will be starting the actual story plot and deeper adventures.  
> Lance will struggle how he fits on the team, and what his true assets are. Discovering a new found pain in him, which will lead to deals and gaining allies in an unconventional ways.  
> This first real main plot will run about 6 chapters, and a character will be returning at the end which will go into phase two revolving Keith more internally.


	9. Open Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning Graphic Gore and Violence to a main

The plan seemed simple enough, Allura and Keith were to sneak onto the east side of the ship. While Lance, Hunk, and Pidge distracted Lotor’s generals on the west side of the ship. The plan was to separate Lotor from the generals, giving Allura and Keith full access of attack. Using Pidge’s lion to be the drop off, the Black and Blue Lions standing by.

Lance didn’t like Keith going after Lotor, it’s not that he didn’t trust him, it’s just his emotions are whack, and Lotor can use that. He had Allura, Allura is good she’d keep him in check. 

Lance was meant to be the first person aboard, the distraction, Pidge and Hunk are his back up. He dropped down onto the ship, quickly with thermal vision seeing where they were. Sliding through the vents, landing into a hallway placing a bomb Hunk and Pidge created, place three in the right places. Causing the generals to be trapped on one side, Lotor on the other. Easy.

Setting the second bomb, and as he moved to the furthest location, the more tricky, the third. Tying and rewiring the cords to the main frame of a small control panel. His hairs stuck up on his neck. Taking a deep breath, pointing his bayard at the enemy, but there was no one.

“Alright guys, in place.” Lance radioed.

“Alright get to a safe location, we don’t want you ending up in the healing pod again.” Pidge said making Lance roll his eyes, he made his way towards the loading zone. “Okay 3, 2, 1…” Lance pressed the trigger.

 

* * *

 

 

Keith watched from the Black Lion, the ship break in half by three large explosions. He waited a minute or two. “Lance, do you copy?” Static, time right now is important. “Lance answer now, meet to the rendezvous point with Pidge and Hunk. I’m giving you 30 seconds to respond, or we’re moving in without you.”

The team counted down, worried not hearing Lance respond yet, thinking he must’ve been too close to the bomb again. “Alright Hunk, Pidge. Move in.”

“Are you sure, like what if it’s unsafe. Lance isn’t responding…” Hunk said. “Like we should go get him.”

“No, we don’t have time. Go in now, once inside, I’ll send Allura for back up. We have to do this now.” Keith ordered, the lions landing on location. Keith and Allura slid inside to the main deck, ready for Lotor. 

“Ah Paladins,” Lotor said looking out over the window his back to them. “Whatever can I do?”

“Drop the act,” Keith growled. “This is the end of any Zarkon’s ruling.”

“Oh I’m nothing like my father.”

“You are, release the comet!” Allura demanded.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, see that require me to be here.”

“What are you talking about?” Keith glared, sword ready.

“See I’m not here, I’m currently playing with a certain blue eyed Paladin.” He turned to face them, his long silver hair. “He’s quite friendly, but he’s got a mouth… But I’m sure you already know that. Black Paladin.”

“What- Where’s Lance?” Keith commanded.

“Aboard but I don’t think you are going to make it all as one.”

“KEITH!” Pidge yelled on the comm. “Where is Lance? We need back up! They are destroying us down here.”

“I’ll end this now,” Keith ran his sword into Lotor, going right through him. Lotor laughed.

“Keith it’s a hologram- Where do you have Lance?” Allura shouted at the false image.

“Don’t worry you’ll have him shortly, just having my fun.”

“Pidge, Hunk, pull back. Lotor has Lance,” Keith radioed.

“Got it!” They said fleeing.

“Lance, come on! Give us something, where are you?” Keith yelled on the comms, gaining hisses of pain from the rest of the Paladins.

 

* * *

 

 

Lance had pressed the trigger, as he did a hand was over his mouth and his helmet was flown off. He remembers being dragged in the dark by two women, one was silent had like a cat, the other was a big muscled woman. Who talked about turning his bones into power and turn him into mush. He knew these were some of his generals. He was thrown onto a metal table, quickly strapped down. He struggled and pulled against the restraints. No luck.

“What do you want?” Lance hissed, the room was like mad scientist lab. Tubes of what like black and purple smoke. The witch had used this stuff. Metal tools on a counter, rusty and covered in blood. Lance can only think of the horrible things these Galra have done. The women left, and in came the price of space hell. Long silver hair, tall and thin. He towered over Lance, picking up a sharp tool. “I don’t think we’ve personally met one on one,” he said charmingly.

“I know how you are.”

“Well, I want to know you. Such pretty eyes, skin, that mouth. Tell me about yourself, Red Paladin who wears blue. You are the second in command of Voltron, you are loved by many, and from what I hear an excellent diplomat.” Lance raised an eyebrow, just looking at him like he’s an idiot.

“No, I’m not second of anything. Try 5th, or 7th,” Lance grumbled. “Get this over with, you going to kill me right?”

“Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, why did you strap me to a table?”

“You blew up half my ship.”

“You deserved it.”

“Hmm,” Lotor looked really close to his face. “You are an asset to my plans.”

“What are you planning, Loser.” Lotor didn’t respond but lifted Lance’s head off the table, stabbing a sharp tube into the back of his head. Beginning to pump chemicals, that made Lance twitch and jolt around. He was screaming at the burning, it felt like his skin was melting off. Several moments passed, Lotor pulled it off him. Lance was drooling and lips quivering in fear. His eyes starting to water.

“Sweet Paladin… I haven’t even started.” Lifting the restraints, lifting Lance into a sitting position. Keeping Lance’s arms and legs down, as took like a dull knife and stabbed it into his neck, cutting from neck to the top of his head. Lance could feel the blood oozing out down his shoulders and back. Lotor shoving his fingers inside his head. He was going to die, he can’t move his body. Lotor’s finger were in his brain, Lance was crying in pain, tears poured down his face.

“Please stop…” Lance begged, Lotor gripped the hole in his head and began tearing the back of his skull apart. Lance was shocked he wasn’t dead yet, his brain was wide open. He could talk- what was the stuff Lotor pumped him with?

Lotor dragged his fingers covered in blood, down Lance’s body. Feeling him up, feeling his muscles, curves. Lance felt so disgusted as he did this to him, he begged to make the pain stop but it didn’t.

“I can see your memories, you have a beautiful family… It would be a shame if something were to happen.” Lotor threatened as he gripped Lance tighter. Grazing over his chest, Lance screaming for help as he went over his nipples. “No, no, please stop!”

“Awe, are you afraid I’m going to do something? How would the Black Paladin, look at you? So ruined, beaten, and used up. Just gutter trash of nothing, just so easily taken apart. He’ll never love you back, he’s told you already. Why do you still try? You will never be good enough… Besides opening and giving him only what he wants from you. That’s all you’ll be good for.”

Lance was beyond crying at this point, he felt a hand on his throat. It began to choke him. “I’ve given you a little gift back. You wanted to go blow things up? Now you are a bomb… In less than 48 vargas, you’ll be gone and anyone of a 5 mile radius as well. I’ll say your goodbyes while you can… Unless.” He paused. “Before the 48 hours, you return to me. Swear your allegiance, join me. Be my _personal… servant_. I’ll remove it- before thinking you can remove it. Only I can, it’s only to my touch.”

“...Then I’ll die before I ever join.” Lance felt lights go dark, and body fall back to the table.

 

* * *

 

 

The ship was in flames, only a matter of time before the whole thing blew. Keith watched from the Black Lion, Lotor leaving in a smaller ship, followed by his generals. Keith had forgotten that Lance was still aboard, quickly ditching everyone speeding after.

“Keith no!” Pidge yelled.

“Lance is still in there!” Hunk added.

“We have to rescue him,” Allura tried to convince Keith to come back.

“You guys can get him, I have to do this.”

“No you don’t, Lance could be seriously hurt. I know you care deeply about him-”

“He’ll understand,” Keith bolted. Lance always understands. Allura, and Pidge quickly tried to get back on board, Hunk stayed in his lion for outside coverage. Only a few minutes before the whole thing blows. Pidge was able to track his helmet, which gave off a signal to the rest of his suit. Finding a boarded up and metal locked door. They tried to bust down, unable to.

“Hunk, we’re going to need you to bust a hole in this ship. Come right for us, Lance is inside we can’t get him out!” Pidge said.

“Please hurry,” Allura added. Hunk quickly crashed into the side of the ship, seeing Lance on the floor head to chest in blood. “Guys…”

“What, is he alright?”

“Oh man… he’s hurt pretty bad.” Hunk lifted him up, a gaping hole inside his head. His armour smeared with blood. “Like it’s really bad, I don’t know if the cryopods will save him.”

Allura and Pidge have already made their way out, Lance was inside the yellow lion.

“Keith, please return. Lance he’s bleeding dangerously a lot.”

“Keith!”

“Where are you! Lance… I don’t think he’s going to make it.” Hunk said, Keith can hear them all. He was trying to hold back the tears, he knows Lotor was behind this. He shouldn’t of gotten attached, they all leave or die. He doesn’t deserve love, he was a curse, a plague. Lance was dying, and Lotor was getting away. He didn’t want to say goodbye, refused to. Zipping the Black Lion around, Lance isn’t going to die on him.

They were already to the castle by the time Keith got there, he rushed in, Pidge and Allura glaring at him. “Where is he?”

“Hunk and Coran, are trying to get his armor off… It’s cutting off his air supply.”

“What happened?”

“Well if you fucking stayed, you would’ve saw Lance’s brains were pretty much everywhere.” Keith started to take the image in, Allura and Pidge were also covered in blood. Lance’s. They must’ve helped carry him in. The floors were covered in blood from the hangers to the medical bay. 

“What did he do to him?”

“We don’t know yet,” Allura said softly. “We have reason to suspect for the head injury. He might’ve implanted something.”

“Well can’t we take it out?”

“We don’t even know what it yet,” Pidge said. “There’s so much blood, we can’t see anything.”

“This is all my fault, he shouldn’t of went alone.”

“That’s not where you messed up, you should’ve made getting Lance back first. The minute he was taken, the mission was compromised.”

“We didn’t know that yet!” Keith exclaimed defending himself. Before storming down the halls, the drops of blood like bread crumbs. Slamming the door opened. Hunk and Coran in medical masks, taking tools to Lance’s head.

“What are you doing?” Keith asked panicked.

“We have to stop the bleeding, he’s losing a lot of blood. We’re need to give him a blood transfusion, but he’s A negative.” Hunk explained trying to not puke from all the blood.

“Fine tap me open,” Keith said holding out his arm.

“A negative is pretty rare- he can only get A- or O-”

“I am O negative,” Keith said. Coran quickly pushed him into a chair, and no way properly taking blood stabbed his arm with the needle to draw blood into the bag. Keith looking at him like he’s insane. Hunk was cleaning most of the blood off to see the wound better, ringing out bowls of pink water. Lance looked to lifeless, like a pile of bloodied clothes.

“I should’ve been there, I shouldn’t have left him.”

“Well you can say it to his face, if wakes up… he like really had it for you. Really liked you, or I mean still.” Hunk mumbled on, Keith looked down at his hands. 

“I like him too… I just can’t let this happen, if we were together- I have to be able to say goodbye at any moment. That’s the job.”

“So you’re just going to detach him from you, so you don’t feel? Look I understand, with Shiro, your parents… but Lance is probably someone could really be what you need.”

“Yeah… I feel that, and it scares me.”

“Feel what?”

“This hole, it’s been there forever… with Lance it feels like it gets smaller, and it hurts.”

“Wounds need to scab in order to heal, it’s up to you if you want to pick it open or let it heal.” Keith listen to his words, the needle removed from his arm. Lance’s body was wrapped up in bandages. They poured a blue like goo onto the hole which started to mend. Changing him into something like a sweats and a shirt, they began the blood transfusion. Keith just waited and waited, it took awhile before they had the all good for the cryopod to begin. Lance hasn’t opened his eyes or even made a noise once. Keith feared the worse, he feared him not coming out again. He never said goodbye to Shiro, he’s still MIA… but he can’t lose Lance, not to death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 will be posted next week on Friday. I have midterms to work on this weekend.


	10. Authors Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not part of the story, and will be deleted once the new chapter is uploaded

Dear Readers, I want to formally apologize for not keeping up with my said deadlines. I'm currently busy with conventions for the show supernatural and 3 weeks until finals. That being said, ch. 10 is already written, but I'll be posting it once school is out for winter and before I return for spring semester. 

Sincerely, Me.


End file.
